Personally, I’ve first read about “negging” in one of Mystery’s books. He discusses it a lot, and it is an important part of his pick up method (which is called “the mystery method“).
To many men, learning about negging is an example of the shocking news, that attracting women isn’t achieved by flattering and over-complimenting , but sometimes even by doing the opposite.
So what is exactly negging, why does it attract women, and what’s the (big) difference between negging and insulting.
What is Negging?
“Negging” (comes from “negative”), is a technique to lower a girl’s over-confidence and “bitch-shield”. It’s used by giving “innocent comments”, that are in some ways impolite or tactless.
A negging (or “neg”) shouldn’t sound as if you say it on purpose, even on the contrary. The purpose of a neg is to show a girl that you are not needy and not trying to flatter or compliment her without a reason.
Here are some examples:
“I love your dress….. In fact my mother loves to wear a very similar one on holidays” (girls don’t want to look like old mothers)
“Nice nails… Are they real?” (women never want their nails to look artificial)
“You know, I’ve just seen a girl wearing the same shirt that you wear” (Women feel terrible when another girl has the same clothes)
“You walk funny” (for some reason, women don’t like to hear that their walk is “funny”)
“Wow, you have this little mustache… It makes you look so cute!” (you make it sound like a compliment, but a woman feels terrible when she hears that she has a mustache)
The idea is to sound as if you are just giving an innocent comment, or even trying to compliment. But it does hit her self-esteem.
Unlike many other techniques, using negs is not necessary. It can be great to use negs on very hot girls, but in many cases, there will be no need to use them on “regular” or average. In many cases, it might lower a girl’s self-esteem, but when a girl is acting bitchy, it can be a great way to poke a hole in her “balloon of perfection”.
Why Does Negging Attract Women
Although it might not sound rational to you, using negs on a girl, is first of all making it comfortable for her to talk to you.
Yes, I know, you did tell her something that she doesn’t want to hear. But it also shows her that you are not needy and you don’t want anything from her. Most men try to get girls by complimenting and telling them nice things. So because you do the opposite, it seems like you are not interested (which is good!)
But in addition to creating the immediate comfort, this technique is great to create attraction. It puts you in the position of a confident guy who’s not afraid to say whatever he thinks of.
She is also not used to hearing such things from guys, and it’s always attractive to meet a unique and different guy.
So in general, negging has been found to be attractive to women.
Beware – Use Negging Wisely
Negging is a successful method to lower a girl’s self-esteem and bitchy behavior. It’s great to use in night clubs and on very attractive girls, because they just get approached too much.
However, if you use it on the wrong girl, it can actually ruin your chances. “Over-Gaming”, is when you use too many techniques and methods, that only make you look weird and ego-centric.
It’s nice to use some negs, but if you only lower her self-esteem, the girl will eventually lose her interest in you.
So use negging wisely, not too much, and only on women that seem to behave bitchy to you. If a girl already wants you, it would be a terrible technique to use on her.