Today I would like to talk about what happens after you approach a girl and get her phone number. The fact that you’ve got her phone number means that you were better than 95% of the other guys who approached her and probably didn’t get the number.
However, many women give away their phone number to men, and aren’t yet sure they are going to date them. If you compare it to sales, it’s like a costumer who gives his number to a sales agent. It still doesn’t guarantee that he’s going to pay for the product. It usually means he is interested to hear more information.
Therefore, your first call to a girl is in fact crucial. In just a few minutes, she will decide if she’s going to date you, or not. Many men believe that just calling a girl, saying “Hi” and asking her out for a date will do the job. Well, this tactic sometimes works, but in many cases the girl is not yet ready to say “yes”.
Assume She Recognizes You
How do you begin talking to her? do you remind her who you are - ”Hi, this is michael…mmm we met yesterday in the bar, you remember? I was a bit drunk, but, ehmm…”? Of course not!
Begin the conversation, assuming she knows who you are. In most cases, she will recognize you or at least get it in a few seconds. I like to say, “Hi, What’s?”. If she doesn’t have your number, she might not recognize you immediately. She will say, “OK”, waiting for you to say who you are. Don’t tell her. Wait for her to either ask or recognize you.
Meanwhile, just begin talking and make her curious. By the way, women don’t have so many men calling them. She’ll probably understand who you are.
Make Her Enjoy the Conversation
On your first phone call, you actually begin a new interaction with the girl. If she gave you her phone number, it means she is attracted to you in some level. However, she doesn’t remember much from you previous interaction, and therefore – you need to build attraction, again. The same tactics that you used in a regular conversation, use them in a phone conversation, and make her attracted to you again.
The most important guideline that I can give you for a first phone call is to make it fun, interesting and exciting. Don’t ask serious questions; just make it fun and easy talking.
Teasing, humor, conveying your attractive masculinity – These all should be used over the phone. Just like in a regular interaction.
Finish First, Don’t Set Any Date
There are 2 things that most men do on a first phone call, and women are used to. Do the complete opposite, and it will be extremely attractive and unique.
Don’t set a date on the first phone call: When you are calling a girl for the first time, what is she expecting from you? To ask her out, of course. I never set a date on a first phone call.
Just talk, be funny, interesting, and that’s it. Make her think to herself: “What did I do wrong? Wasn’t I good enough?”. When you do that, the girl will be thinking about you for hours later! Ask her out on your next call: trust me, she will be waiting for it.
Finish the Conversation First: Most men talk to a girl, and let the conversation slowly end. In the beginning, you will probably have lots of funny things to say, and make her laugh and be interested. That’s exactly where you should finish the call – When you are on the peak of the conversation. A few minutes after you began talking, tell her something like: “Well, you know what, I have to go now, let’s talk later”.
Not only that you didn’t set a date, you were extremely interesting, and suddenly the conversation ended. She will be expecting your next call.
Next to calling, you can also attract girls via text. Check out my friend Dennis’s examples of what to text a girl.
Address Her Fears
There are 2 main fears, or concerns, when a girl is considering whether to go on a date with a guy:
Her Safety: Think about it – she doesn’t know you much. And she probably heard stories about rapists, maniacs, whatever. It’s not that she is really afraid, but she might have some concerns.
Her Precious Time: Women have bad experiences of boring and weird dates. She is going to prepare (for many women – it takes hours just to choose what to wear), and be with you on the date. It could be a waste of time, and also feel awkward.
When setting a date (which, as I said, is better to happen on your second call), I suggest addressing these 2 fears. How? What I prefer to do is to make it as if I have the same fears. I would tell a girl, “You know, so far I liked you, but I don’t really know you too much. So, if we are going to meet, let’s do it in some public location, OK?”. You see, now it’s you who is concerned about his safety.
The same can be done about the second concern: “I hope you are not one of those boring girls who can’t find anything interesting to say on a date”. Her response will be something like “No, of course not”. Now it’s you who is concerned of having a boring date.
How Much to Wait Before calling
I answer this issue last, because it’s so much not important. There is no “rule” here, and I am against playing childish games. You can call after one day, after 2, or later. You can call even on the same day.
What’s more important is to do it during comfortable time, to you and to her. Usually the early evening (7PM) is a great time, because she will probably be home.